There is research on the power of the brain in shaping our existences - everything from a victim or victor mentality approach in life to the way we talk to ourselves in our head. I'm working on improving that voice in my head and I'm constantly amazed by how much negativity was programmed into my brain space. I have no idea how much of that came from the house I grew up in, my mental health in youth, social messages, or anywhere else. At this point the where doesn't matter, more that the voice hasn't been very kind. And that lack of kindness for myself led me to make decisions that I wouldn't have had that voice been kind. The nice thing about being human is that we DO have control of how that voice talks to us. By mindfully observing that voice and how much it can hurt, I can confront that voice and remind it that reality speaks a different truth about me.
That rebuttal requires diligence, it's not a one-and-done. That malicious fiend has infinite lives and no matter how many times this warrior stabs it through the soft spot in its underbelly that fiend comes back with new flames of poison. Lucky for me, the fiend gets a bit weaker every time it comes back with a repeated poison.
This battle with the disapproving voice showed up at work the other day. I got excited when I caught myself speaking negatively to myself but identified it. I was with clients and noticed the emotional stress I was feeling and heard the voice chime in to fuel the stress. The simple act of being able to identify it was like shining light on a critter in the dark - I could see the voice for what it was rather than react to its poison.
Mindfulness works.
I'm being kinder to myself by reminding that voice that without the cringey, confused, too-kind and naive younger self I wouldn't be who I am today and who I will be in the future. I'm being kinder to myself by reminding myself of everything I've learned to get to where I am and congratulating myself on being a wiser person.
The author generated this image in part with GPT-3, OpenAI’s large-scale language-generation model. Upon generating draft imagery, the author reviewed, edited, and revised the image to their own liking and takes ultimate responsibility for the content of this publication.
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