Marriage is tough

Four days ago I responded to an Instagram post with the prompt: If you could meet your 18-year-old self and could only share 3 words, what would they be? I saw a few people post things that made me say "Dang, that's better than my initial one". What would I say to 18-year-old me? Don't get married.

I won't get into why. I know that if 18-year-old me made different choices I wouldn't be who I am today. I know. I also wouldn't have four biological children whom I am proud of. I know.

In retrospect, a better phrase would have been "Love yourself first" - one of the responses I admired as better than mine. Hopefully, that would catch 18-year-old Mikey's attention and make her think about why THOSE 3 words out of all the others.

I digress. One lady stated her opinion about marriage being amazing in response to my answer. Another lady replied that she and her husband have been married 40 years and she loves him even more now.

I'm absolutely happy for those two ladies. I'm grateful some people choose partners wisely and work through the tough times.

I am not one of those. I'm mad at the two ladies' insensitive responses. The prompt was not "state an unpopular opinion". It was to share words of wisdom for our 18-year-old selves, not for all 18-year-olds. Not everyone is ready for marriage when they take the plunge. I was not. I have no idea what age the two ladies chose to marry. I have no idea what cultural influences, family examples, or network they drew strength from to have their wonderful marriages. I didn't have the strong love of self or emotional maturity to choose a partner wisely.

Based on 312 other people "liking" my response within four days, a hefty portion of humanity has similar "marriage is tough" experiences and wants to send their younger selves on a healthier path.

At this point in my life, I question if I could ever be ready for marriage. Fodder for my therapy session tomorrow.